When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
