nut hugger
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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