Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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