It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
