Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
