At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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