I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just pynch a tree in the face
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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