Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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