don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
