i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
