8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
