well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
