White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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