Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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