I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
