The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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