i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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