I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
