This girl is more easily done than said...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
