with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize