I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
