the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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