I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
