i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
