Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
