You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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