p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
