I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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