she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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