STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Randomize
