i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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