i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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