giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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