Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
