Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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