Capitaan dildo arrescate!
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
