im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
