im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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