i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
