What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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