I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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