It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I think I sprained my soul last night
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
