i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize
