6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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