Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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