he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
