Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
