i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
