his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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