Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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