I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
