If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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