Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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